Lessons Learned from Mom

It is mothers day and my mom is no longer with us but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her.  I’ll start by saying she was not perfect and this post is not about a rosy depiction of a perfect childhood since I don’t think perfection is what we had an if there is anyone reading this, and you had perfection, congratulations!

What she demonstrated each and every day even at the very end of her life, was she never gave up.  She taught me probably through her actions more than her words to never give up.  Yes, she had doubts about how smart or how talented I was so she wasn’t one of those to build me or any of my siblings up with “yes, you can” talks but she was real and utterly honest.  When I gained a few pounds, she was clearly going to say something about it for my betterment.  When I succeeded at work by getting a promotion, she was very proud and encouraged me.  She would encourage us to be whatever we wanted and to work hard, not waste money, plan for the future, and wear things till they totally wore out, for example.  She was a great negotiator and if she had had the opportunity to study finance, she would have been wildly successful as a financial wizard.

Being raised by what we consider today as “old fashion old world” parents, what stands for me which has shaped me in my work and in my life was to never give up.  Going through a divorce, being a single parent, having to deal with cancers and losing my ability to be mobile from all the stuff that chemo/radiation as well numerous surgeries, the never give up attitude has sustained me if not becoming part of my DNA.

My mother loved us beyond her words would truly express other than every once in a while her softness would come through.  She didn’t walk out when it was tough.  She didn’t abort me when I was being born in a refuge camp in Yugoslavia. She simply worked with my dad to figure out how to make ends meet, how to get us where we needed to be, and how to be there for us.

Parents are not perfect but we ourselves can reshape our lives based on the principles and faith we can do better than they did.  My mother would encourage us to do better – she would nudge and sometimes push us hard (ok – resented this growing up) but finally saw that her pushing us for excellence kept us out of trouble.  Her brutal honesty was not always welcomed but she was 99% right – there were times she was wrong because she was only human. I think now, are we honest with our children or our friends for that matter.  Tell them when we see them wasting their lives or not pursuing their God-given talents to create an incredible life?

Well, it is only one day of the year we as a nation take time to stop and celebrate our mothers and this is my little feeble attempt.  I leave you with a few questions, how do you want to be remembered whether you are a mother, father, sister, brother or simply a friend to someone.  Do you nudge them to greatness to be the best version of themselves?  Do you encourage them when all say otherwise that they cannot succeed?  Basically I should have died in a small unmarked refuge camp years ago in a country in turmoil, so I say thank you to Mom for never giving up and showing me that it was not even an option.

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Cashflow Quadrant- what side are you on?

Have you read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki and recall the section where he explains the Cashflow Quadrant.  My only regret is that I did not read that book sooner but I guess I better get over it and move now in the right direction.  This is something no one is taught in School!!










Starting at the E at the top left quadrants.  Some models have E shown as J for Job but in this image E stands for being an EMPLOYEE of someone else.  So ask yourself, when you want a raise, who do you ask, “someone else” is the answer.  When you want a promotion or new assignment or do not want to do something, who do you ask for permission? The answer is SOMEONE ELSE.

I see many people go from E to S (self-employed).  The problem with S is 4-5 years 80% self-employed fail but if you survive 5 years you will make more money than having stayed in the E quadrant.

The goal is to get out of S and into the B quadrants since B stands for Business Owner – where you have others working for  you.  J. Paul
Getty said it best,  “I’d rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort”.   He also goes on to say ” The #1 guideline to success is you must be in business for yourself. When you work for someone else, you sell your time at wholesale to your employer, who then re-sells it at retail to the customer”.  The B quadrant frees you to become more focused on working “on the business” rather than just the technician “in the business” as Michael Gerber describes in his book, E-Myth Revisted.

I the investment quadrant, the next transition is to move your focus to I so that your money is working harder than you especially when you are resting, enjoying your life,  or simply sleeping.  Not to say that you move everything to I but keeping the balance in B (Business Owner) and strong I (Investments) creates options and flexibility.  So which side would you rather be, left or right side of the quadrant?  RIGHT side of the Quadrant where you are creating a fortune for this generation and future generations.

Is this easy and possible for a E to get to I?  Not easy but very possible through focused goals.   My goal is that more of my clients see how to get from E to S to B and then I faster so that they can truly enjoy their dreams. 

This has been my simple view of the quadrant and I truly would love to meet Robert Kiyosaki one day and thank him for simplifying this view further.  Would love to hear from you — how is it working for you.

When I started this post, I noted that I wish I had read this book sooner and are wondering why?  I invested in a “home based and self-employed” option because it appeared to be less expensive.  Yes, I love what I do, but to get to the B quadrant for me, I need more people working for me.  Had I considered this prior to my purchase, I would have selected a different  model that was not dependent on me but having a team and staff that we could train.  My path to get to the right side of the quadrant is longer but possible which is why I like to educate my clients on the potential.  Do not look at entry cost, look at your end game and then determine how to fund the option which will help you get to the end game faster.  Or as in my own example, understand and be aware of what I need to do differently to move to the Right Side!

p.s. my gift is any grammar errors or typos.. please excuse them since it is Friday night and I really wanted to get this typed while my sister was on the phone and we were planning to go out for ice cream.  I’ll proof over the weekend. Thanks for your patience.

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Posted in Education, franchise, Inspiration

Quotes To Live By

This page is my collection of quotes that have inspired me over time. My intent is that it will be a collection from various successful and wise individuals.

Feel free to add something from your own collection to share with the group.

When you have either friends or loved ones trashing your confidence, you may want to read Teddy Roosevelt speech titled today, Man in the Arena, (only a portion is shown here but you can google to search for the entire speech:

“…It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time. – Henry Ford
If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.Abraham Maslow

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.Bill Cosby

Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear.Dan Millman

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.Thomas Edison

Beloved, I desire above all things that you may prosper and be in health, as your soul prospers.” 3 John 2

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us… And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  – Marianne Williamson

“Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.”

“Aim for service and success will follow.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”

~ Edith Wharton

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To Thrive or not to Thrive that is the Question!

Transitioning is not easy because it forces us to make choices – yes to move on and make the most of it or not.  For me it became more of thinking if I move on, can I thrive or am I just surviving.  Thriving to me seems richer beyond the physiological and safety needs which Maslow Law describes as our basic needs which must be met.  Thriving moves us closer to our higher selves and as Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs describes “Self-actualization” when we are reaching our fullest potential. (Click here To read more about Maslow’s Hierarchy).

You may be forced to transition – loss of a job, loss of your health, loss of your mobility or something else.  Or you may be transitioning so something else because life changes – all the children are grown or you simply are tired of doing the same old thing each day.

As a cancer survivor, health and mobility forced me to rethink life.  I’ve come to learn that I am not interested in just surviving but Thriving.  I share this because I believe every human being is meant to THRIVE not Survive — Animals and plants survive  but Humans Thrive because of our higher intelligence, free will, and ability to think creatively to develop choices.  I challenge you to be a Thriver in all you do – your personal life, careers and communities.

Our goal is to share thoughts, perspective, and our own personal lessons learned.  We will share quotes, ideas, and resources that hopefully will help you in your journey. 

We can make a choice each and every day if we are to survive or to THRIVE.  I truly believe it is our God given free will to decide.  So the next time you wake up in the morning, decide to THRIVE boldly. THRIVE – “To prosper in any business; to have increase or success.” (Brainy Dictionary).


Coaching Sisters!

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Being Healthy Starts with Knowledge

via Aluminum in Vaccines: History and Toxicity.

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Its about time to find Joy

The last few years have been a time to renew physically, spiritually and mentally resulting in silence and basically no content for this blog.  As I am sure you can relate life happens and the need to refocus the limited energy on vital or sometimes mundane activities to get through the day.  With that said, I am taking a fresh approach and it starts with prioritizing what is important and it only sometimes when we talk with someone and in this case it was a new prospect that helped me and I hope I helped him as much.

He was looking for help figuring out what is his next gig in life – what should he write on his resume and what he should do next.  Of course, I can’t answer that for him.  When  you are 50Something you typically have had several job and hopefully several of which have been happy experiences.  My suggestion was to list his experience and divide them into 2 categories – Joyful and Draining.  His goal is to find the JoySpot as I call it – where there was joy generated our spirits were dancing while we worked.  If you don’t like my use of spirit, call it soul, or higher Self but it was more than your physical level.  I truly believe we get in the “zone” of performance when we have engaged our spirits in the right work.  Understanding what was draining your energy is key so that you reduce or eliminate as much of that stuff as possible.  Totally get it that you can’t eliminate all things draining – people, tasks, schedules etc.. but lets make most of the day hitting your “JoySpot” to be spot on with the work you choose.  Making a living should not be draining or joyless.  I truly don’t believe we were sent here or chose to come here to be joyless and miserable.  Our higher Self calls us to love where we are, love doing what we do, and love the people we are with.  This starts right now not in some distant future.  Begin with finding right now something to love about where you are and more will then follow.

These are my opinions, if you don’t agree, feel free to unfollow or simply close the browser.  Wishing you success and joy!

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Finding a new normal

Today I had a procedure that basically confirmed that MD doctors and medicine of today cannot resolve my issues — basically chemo and radiation damage after surviving Colon cancer.  I have to find a “new normal” and live with neuropathy which is intense and now on top of that live with intestinal issues as well excruciating rectal pain.  OK, said it because it is much easier to talk about breast reconstruction and breast cancer for most of us than colon and rectal Cancer.  And yes I know since I also had breast cancer so I’ve got the experience and actually hate those pink ribbons.   Did you know that many people – even educated don’t know where or what is a colon??

I am feeling sorry for myself and maybe writing this may help me and someone who is my boat but I’ve not heard from them.  I find colon cancer survivors are silent because who the heck wants to hear about our plumbing – small intestines, large intestines, sigmoid, rectal descending this and ascending that and worse of all poop – oops I said it because depending on where in our plumbing you have colon cancer it will drastically change your life for ever.  So count your blessing if you get it higher up as they say rather down under.

As a Christian I’ve heard so many times to take our trials, tribulations and pains and even people in our lives that are pains in the neck or pain in the butt and offer them to God and let Him use it for salvation of souls, for alleviating our current state or for conversion of sinners to name a few.  I’m starting to get it now more than ever.  I could easily be extremely overwhelmed and dive deep into a depressive state of mind and trust me when pain is higher than a 10 it is easy to slip.

How do I “offer” is what I asked a dear friend and she said when the pain or feelings are too intense to handle simple talk to God and ask Him to take it and to use it according to His will or for someone specific such as family member who are struggling or friend who is need of prayers as examples.

So today I will try to “offering” and when I slip I will offer that too because by offering I feel less alone and less burdened.  Amazing the pain and situation has not changed but knowing my small world of pain, discomfort, and at times isolation can be used for good makes me feel like a supernatural healer.

Let me know if this makes sense or what you use to cope with “sorry we cannot help you, but at least you are alive.

Lastly not to preach but as mother of two wonderful sons I have 27 years of experience of doing just that, preach that is.  So PLEASE, PLEASE get a colonoscopy so that you never have to face this ugly, disgusting and disruptive disease.  The colonoscopy is the only “exam or test or detecting procedure” that can actually prevent cancer. If the doctor sees polyps they can scrape them off and biopsy all in one session.  If not cancerous, the scrapping of the polyps is enough, if not at least you know and can start looking for options.  We can talk about that in another post but that is enough preaching for today and the anesthesia is making me sleepy.  New Normal, ugh.


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Fear of What?

FEAR – who doesn’t have it?  Working with clients who are making career transitions we witness fear.  Fear can come from themselves or from loved ones forcing them in a state of suspension – suspended in their jobs they hate, jobs that keep them from fully living, jobs that drain them emotionally all because fear of change or risk of change.

We all either face our fears by following through with our hearts to get closer to our vision and new reality or we lay down our dreams letting fear win the battle with regret that creeps in later.

When you spin fear of failure in your head or with your family, do you shut down and buy into the negative potential outcome? In the TED talk that Jonathan Fields gives in the link below, he suggests that we reframe our fear to by asking additional questions such as “what if I do nothing? and what if I succeed?  He presents 3 questions to ask your self:

Ask, what if I fail?  Do the following 2 things:  write out all the things that can happen and then write out what you would do to recover.

then ask what if I do nothing?  Write down what happens — will you go just sideways in the next 5-10 years.   He goes on to say that life applies friction — there is no sideways it is either up or down.  Create this scenario in your head and  compare to the what if I fail.

then ask, what if I succeed? Place a picture of yourself successful and the thing you wanted is done – business is successful, your project is completed or whatever it is that is your dream.

This process will help you move from a state of inaction to dreams that come true.

Hope you enjoy this video from TED: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkFRwhJEOos&feature=relmfu

Let us know if this was useful and other tips on how you overcome fear to be the BEST you were meant to be.


The coaching sisters were recently interviewed by Adrienne Burke writer for Yahoo Small Business on over coming fear.  We all are faced with fear and it is absolutely normal to be scared out of your socks when you are doing anything new.  Hope you enjoy the article and get at least 1 tip.

How to get beyond the fear of being your own boss

Conquer your inner saboteur

“Fear is the biggest reason people don’t start their own businesses,” says Paska Nayden, a business coach in Fairfield County, Conn., who serves a national clientele. “Fear comes into play when you’re making any kind of life change, such as getting married, starting a family, or switching careers. And it becomes louder when you’re considering starting or buying your own business,” she says.

After a 30-year career at IBM, Nayden faced her own fears when she decided to leave the corporate world for home-based work with more flexible hours. Even her mother urged her to stay with an employer, but she has succeeded in carving out a niche as a coach who helps people explore options in franchise ownership. As much counselor as coach, Nayden has, through surviving three debilitating battles with cancer, honed a talent for showing others the way to face frightening, life changing events. I spoke with her about how she helps would-be entrepreneurs overcome fear.

YSBA: When it comes to starting a business, what are people afraid of?

Nayden: There’s the fear of losing that steady paycheck. And, when it comes to purchasing a franchise, there’s the fear of being sold a bill of goods. Some fear that their spouse won’t be supportive. Men especially fear what their wife, kids, church, and neighbors will think if they fail. Every one of my clients who bought a business had to move through this. It’s unnatural not to have fear, and it intensifies as you get closer to making a decision. One woman I worked with was excited about two opportunities in two very different industries. She was afraid to commit to one for fear of missing out on the other.

That all sounds reasonable. What are the ways to get around those fears?

First, we figure out what makes you tick. We get into some assessment tools to learn about your goals, strengths, weaknesses, and what kind of lifestyle you want to live. We figure out what kind of life you want with your business. For instance, do you want certain types of customers? I had a client who realized she only wanted to work with dogs! Another was really interested in elder care because she had seen her mother go through the process of moving into assisted living and she could see a need in the elder demographic. Learning those things about yourself is important and that doesn’t happen over night.

Even once you know the life you want and the clients you’d like, it’s still scary to think about giving up benefits and salary from an employer.

Right. You don’t go towards the flame if you’re afraid of it. People back away or put a decision on hold because their fear blocks them from moving forward. So it’s important to examine that fear and ask where’s it coming from. Fear is a natural mechanism that protects us to some degree. The body knows there’s going to be change and it says, “let’s keep things the way they’ve been.” There’s a saboteur inside us that manifests itself in different ways for different people. The saboteur wants to keep you in the same place. You might not be earning enough money where you are right now, but at least you’re comfortable, and your inner saboteur wants to stay comfortable. Some people have relinquished control of their own lives to this creature inside them.

I try to help clients uncover this inner voice. Let’s discover what this fear is trying to tell us and personify it. Give your saboteur a name and a face—the Gremlin with a squiggly purple face. Then you can talk to it. You can ask the saboteur if it’s telling you the truth, or is it just expressing an emotion. You wouldn’t make a business decision based solely on happiness, so you shouldn’t make one based solely on fear. You can say to it, “I’ve done my due diligence, I’m getting the facts, I’m talking to people, and I’m not doing something irrational.”

If you have a spouse and a family depending on your stable paycheck and benefits, there’s more than your own fear to overcome when taking this leap.

Being on the same page as your spouse is important. I’ve heard people say, “I can’t leave my full-time job, my wife would kill me.” I ask, “How secure is your job? Has your company had layoffs? Are they hiring?”

You need to ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” One client said to me, “My spouse needs to know that we’re not going to lose our house if the business goes under.” If that’s the worst thing that can happen, let’s figure out a way to mitigate that. Don’t put your house down as collateral. You can’t lose something that’s not listed as business asset.

If you’re afraid of leaving that paycheck, then we can ask, “How do we make sure you have enough cash as you’re starting your business so that you can pay your mortgage?” We can identify a budget that allows your family to sustain itself and a funding source so that you are paying yourself a salary. Incorporate that into your funding request. You can sit down with your family and say, “This is how we’re going to do it.” It takes time for a new business to make money. Get the facts, and figure out if it is likely to be 6 months or 8 months or longer. Err on the higher side to create your own sense of security.

Benefits have kept a lot of people trapped. Some will say, “I’ll venture out, but my wife has to be employed for the benefits.” I’ve connected people with different health insurance providers to get coverage as an independent small business. Some chambers of commerce give group rates. And you need to investigate the flip side: as an independent business owner, if you’re making money, your healthcare costs can be a tax write off. Go get some quotes and evaluate that. Understand that you treat that as an above-the-line expense rather than a below-the-line, which it is when you’re an employee.

Even if you don’t have family supporting you, if you can visualize your future self you will have a purpose and you can start setting goals and putting plans in place.

What do you mean by “your future self?”

That’s a term that, unless you go through coaching, you don’t think about. But it’s an important vision to have. Earl Nightingale, the grandfather of self help and personal effectiveness, said in 1956 that “we become what we think about.” You can create an image of what your future self will look like—what you want your work to be, how you want to live, what you want for your family and your whole environment. Then you have something to aim for. Our fear usually keeps us in our place. But when you start putting plans for your future self into action—by getting that book, attending that seminar, etcetera—that will help you move forward through the fear.

Posted in Financing, franchise, Inspiration

Get What You WANT and How to Stop Screwing Yourself

Mel Robbins – F— YOU – How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over

How many times in your life have you stopped short of getting what you really want?  With 1/3 of Americans truly not happy, as Mel Robbins says, we need to be honest with ourselves.

We have an inner snooze button that stops us from moving our ideas to action – we hit the snooze button in our lives and stay in our comfort zone – warm bed, miserable jobs, etc.

In any area of our lives we need to change she says we will never feel like it and scientist call it the activation energy or the force required to force you to change.

It is simple to get what we want but it is not easy – it requires us to force ourselves.  Our emergency brake in our minds stops us from doing something different from our auto pilot routines and decisions.

Her point is that “feeling” is not what we should focus on but on what we do want.  In her book, Stop Saying You are Fine,  she suggest you consider the phrase, “yes, and” rather than “yes, but” to move us closer to what we want.

Hope you enjoy since I know many of you are looking to get what you want!

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Women Entreprenuer’s

In a recent survey of 1,000 successful employed business women:

  • 41% identified their career aspirations as: “owning my own business”!
  • 31% of all privately-held U.S. firms are women-owned.
  • There are 7.8 million firms with majority ownership by women.
  • Women-owned businesses employ 7.6 million people.
  • Women-owned businesses generate 1 trillion in sales.
  • Women-owned firms are at 52% of all healthcare service firms.

-US Census Survey of Business Owners


I recently read a great website with more information on marketing trends to women.  Read http://www.she-conomy.com/ to learn more about how to market and understand an important demographic.

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CNN Interview on Joblessness



If you have been unemployed for any period of time and wondering what are the options listen to this short video.

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